"If he hasn't made intentional changes, you'll likely just be one more woman who wasn't quite 'the right one' when all is said and done. "A women would be wise to determine if the guy is simply doing the same thing over and over in his dating life, or if he's actually trying to change his patterns," explains Jack. Jack also advocates for uncovering a guy's progression. it's more about discerning if he's been committed to changing and improving his dating life, or if he's in an endless cycle of bad dating habits that are unlikely to be broken when you date him." Jack goes on to explain, "To me, it's not about figuring out some set of criteria to know if a guy is/isn't marriage material, or if he does/doesn't have some issues (like fear of commitment). and he's never bothered to do the tough, introspective work to understand why he never committed (e.g., likely surrounding fear of commitment or consistently dating/chasing the 'wrong ones'), then that's a big red flag." As Jack puts it, "If a guy claims that he wants to be married and he's dated tons of women. Or, perhaps more importantly, for him to know why it didn't lead to marriage.
According to these men, it's also really important to know why it didn't work out. Has he done the work since his last girlfriend?ĭon't end the conversation after the past relationships talk. Dating timeline: To be safe, best to ask what a catch like him is doing still single by date two or three.
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